NFL's Adrian Colbert Finds Healing with Ayahuasca at Behold Retreats

‍

From the NFL Field to the Costa Rican Jungle: Adrian Colbert's Journey of Self-Discovery

For 21 years, NFL safety Adrian Colbert carried a weight that no amount of training, no victory on the field, and no accolade could lift. It was the burden of not feeling enough—not feeling worthy of protection, value, care, or above all, love. In a profession that demands toughness, resilience, and an unwavering game face, vulnerability is rarely welcomed. But true strength, as Colbert would discover, lies not in building walls around the heart but in having the courage to tear them down.

In 2024, Adrian Colbert joined fellow NFL stars Aaron Rodgers, Von Miller, and Jordan Poyer at Behold Retreats' Costa Rica location for a six-day, all-inclusive ayahuasca retreat. What unfolded was something truly transformative: a journey that would help him reconnect with the source within the universe and himself, allowing his heart to overflow with a love he had never fully experienced before.

‍

His Story: Adrian's 21-Year Struggle

"For 21+ years I struggled with not feeling like I was enough," Adrian shared in a heartfelt reflection on his experience. "Not feeling like I deserved to be protected, valued, cared for, and above all else, LOVED."

This struggle is more common than many realize, especially among professional athletes who are conditioned to project invincibility. The lack of awareness, understanding, and trust had crippled him to his core creating a life filled with anxiety, paranoia, and disconnection. For years, Colbert existed within a shell of his true self, going through the motions but never fully present, never fully alive.

The demands of the NFL (the physical toll, the constant pressure to perform, the scrutiny from fans and media...) can leave little room for introspection. But beneath the helmet and pads, beneath the statistics and highlight reels, Adrian Colbert was a human being yearning for connection, safety, and authentic love.

‍

The Calling: Why Ayahuasca?

Sometimes, the universe places opportunities before us exactly when we need them. For Adrian, that moment came when he learned about Behold Retreats and the healing potential of Ayahuasca, a sacred plant medicine used for centuries in the Amazon for deep spiritual and emotional healing.

Ayahuasca has been called many things: a teacher, a mirror, a gateway to the soul. Unlike recreational substances, ayahuasca is best understood as a tool for profound inner work. It creates a sacred space where buried emotions, unprocessed trauma, and unconscious patterns can surface and be released.

For Colbert, the retreat represented a chance to do the deep healing work he'd been avoidingto confront the parts of himself he'd kept hidden, and to finally answer the question:

‍Who am I beneath all the armor?

‍

The Behold Retreats Experience: A Safe Container for Transformation

Nestled on the Esterillos hill overlooking the Pacific Ocean, Behold Retreats' Costa Rica location offers a beautiful setting with a professionally facilitated, safe, private, and sacred container for transformation. Adrian joined a intimate group that included fellow NFL players, creating a brotherhood of healing that would become integral to his journey.

The six-day retreat included:

• Pre-ceremony preparation and intention-setting with experienced guides
• Three ayahuasca ceremonies led by maestro facilitator Costa, whose expertise in crafting the ceremonial space was instrumental
• Temazcal (traditional sweat lodge) ceremony to test physical and spiritual endurance
• Integration sessions to process and anchor the insights gained
• Supportive community of like-minded individuals on their own healing paths

"The support I feel from my family is incredible (and blood couldn't make those I consider family any closer)," Adrian reflected. "I can truly trust again (my spirit/those around me) without looking over my shoulder to wonder if someone is trying to take advantage of me."

‍

‍

The Ceremony Experience: Facing the Mirror

In the ceremonial space, under the guidance of maestro Costa, Adrian embarked on three profound ayahuasca journeys. Each ceremony is unique, but all share common elements: the icaros (healing songs), the darkness that allows for internal focus, the presence of skilled facilitators who hold space, and the sacred medicine itself.

Costa's mastery was evident throughout. His ability to read the energy of the room, to know when to sing and when to sit in silence, to guide participants through difficult moments while allowing them space to do their own work—this is what separates a truly transformative ceremony from a potentially harmful one.

"You have to have a reverence for the power of plant medicine," Aaron Rodgers noted about the experience. "Because any plant or substance can either be medicine or poison. It depends on how it's served, the facilitation, the mindset going in, and the ability to surrender to it."

For Adrian, the ceremonies provided a mirror to see himself clearly, a birds eye view on his whole life. The anxiety, paranoia, and disconnection that had plagued him for over two decades began to make sense. These weren't character flaws; they were protective mechanisms from a life that hadn't always felt safe. And now, in this sacred space, he could finally begin to let them go.

‍

The Temazcal: Testing Strength in a New Way

Another pivotal moment in Adrian's journey came during the Temazcal ceremony - a traditional Mesoamerican sweat lodge experience that pushes participants to their physical, mental, and spiritual limits. In a two-hour session of intense heat, participants are invited to confront their relationship with discomfort, endurance, and surrender.

For athletes accustomed to pushing through physical pain, the Temazcal offers a different kind of test. It's not about overpowering the experience but about softening into it, about finding strength in vulnerability rather than resistance.

As the heat intensified and the darkness deepened, Adrian and his fellow participants held space for each other's endurance, creating a collective energy that made the unbearable bearable. It was a profound lesson: we are stronger together than we ever could be alone.

‍

Reconnection: Finding the Source Within

"I can now confidently say I have reconnected to the source within the universe and myself," Adrian shared after the retreat. "My heart is overflowing with love. I feel safer than I ever have on the inside and out."

This reconnection to source, to self, to others - perhaps the most profound gift of plant medicine work. It's not about achieving some elevated spiritual state or having mystical visions (though those may come). It's about coming home to yourself, to the essence of who you've always been beneath the conditioning, the trauma, and the protective walls.

For Adrian, this meant:

• Rediscovering his capacity for trust, without the constant fear of being taken advantage of
• Feeling safe in his own body and spirit, perhaps for the first time in his adult life
• Experiencing authentic love—for himself, for his family, for those around him
• Releasing anxiety and paranoia that had kept him disconnected from the present moment

"Channel that inner child within to start being a human being, instead of a human doing," he reflected, capturing the essence of his transformation. "It's so simple, just be like the kids playing down by the river."

‍

Healing for the Family: The Ripple Effect

One of the most beautiful aspects of Adrian's journey was recognizing how his healing could ripple outward to help those he loves - especially his parents.

"The gratitude for my parents is fucking incredible," he shared. "This life has not been great to them, it's also been exactly what was needed for me to do the real work to transcend and reconnect so I can be a guide in helping them also heal from the pain that they have had to carry with them most of their lives."

This insight reflects a mature understanding of intergenerational trauma and healing. So often, the patterns that cause us pain were inherited from those who came before us - not because they wanted to harm us, but because they too were carrying unhealed wounds. When we do our own healing work, we don't just liberate ourselves; we create the possibility for healing throughout our entire family system.

"Many in this world will walk around lost, without direction, in fear of death so they will never truly LIVE to the capacity at which is available to them & that is no life at all," Adrian observed. This awareness motivated him to become not just a healer of his own wounds but a guide for others.

‍

‍

The Power of Brotherhood: Healing in Community

Adrian's retreat experience was amplified by the presence of fellow NFL players who understood the unique pressures of professional sports. Aaron Rodgers, Von Miller, and Jordan Poyer weren't just retreat companions - they became brothers in transformation, each supporting the other's journey while doing their own deep work.

"To be around such great people created a really fun environment to go deep," Rodgers reflected about the group dynamic.

There's something powerful about men, especially those conditioned by hypermasculine environments like the NFL, creating space to be vulnerable together. In that ceremonial space in Costa Rica, titles and stats didn't matter. What mattered was showing up authentically, supporting each other through difficult moments, and celebrating breakthroughs together.

This brotherhood continues beyond the retreat. The bonds formed during such profound experiences become touchstones for ongoing growth and accountability.

‍

Breaking Free from the Matrix: Choosing Presence Over Performance

One of Adrian's key insights was recognizing how external factors "the foods you eat, the things you listen to, watch, etc all play a part in keeping your mind locked in the matrix" contribute to our disconnection from authentic being.

This isn't about paranoia or conspiracy theories; it's about awareness. In modern life, we're constantly bombarded with stimuli designed to keep us distracted, anxious, and consuming. We become "human doings" rather than "human beings," always performing, always achieving, never simply present.

"Don't waste this construct of time waiting to be saved, cause no-one is coming to save you, only you can save yourself from suffering," Adrian realized. This is ultimate personal responsibility, not in a harsh, isolating way, but in an empowering one. We each have the capacity to wake up from autopilot, to make conscious choices about how we nourish our bodies and minds, and to reclaim our sovereignty.

The invitation is simple but profound: "Just be like the kids playing down by the river." Present. Joyful. Free. Unencumbered by the weight of who we think we should be.

‍

A Message of Hope: You Deserve Love, Safety, and Connection

Adrian's closing words carry a message for anyone who has felt unworthy, unsafe, or disconnected:

"We all deserve to live a life free of worry of what someone thinks of us, feeling safe, loved, protected, valued, grounded, aware, and truly connected to source."

This isn't just wishful thinking or positive affirmations. It's a recognition of our fundamental human right to feel whole, to experience love (especially self-love), and to live without the constant background noise of anxiety and unworthiness.

"Don't run from the dark, there is light there," he reminds us. The path to this freedom often requires us to face what we've been avoiding, to sit with discomfort, to surrender control. But on the other side is a life more vibrant, more present, and more authentically yours than you may have thought possible.

‍

The Science Behind the Transformation

While Adrian's story is deeply personal, it reflects a growing body of research on the therapeutic potential of ayahuasca and other psychedelics for treating trauma, depression, anxiety, and disconnection.

Recent studies have shown that ayahuasca can:

• Reduce symptoms of treatment-resistant depression and anxiety
• Help process and integrate traumatic memories
• Increase psychological flexibility and openness
• Enhance feelings of interconnection and meaning
• Produce lasting changes in personality traits associated with wellbeing

Athletes in particular may benefit from plant medicine work, as the demands of professional sports can create unique psychological challenges: chronic pain, identity issues tied to performance, difficulty with vulnerability, and the pressure of constantly "being tough."

‍

Is Ayahuasca Right for You?

Adrian's journey is inspiring, but ayahuasca isn't for everyone, and it's certainly not something to undertake casually. As Aaron Rodgers emphasized: "You want to ensure you're with the right people."

Key considerations:

• Set and setting matter immensely: The quality of facilitation, the safety of the space, and the intention you bring all impact outcomes
• Mental health screening is crucial: Some conditions may be contraindicated
• Integration support is essential: The real work often happens after the ceremony
• It's not a magic bullet: Plant medicine can open doors, but you must walk through them

At Behold Retreats, safety and quality are paramount. The team includes experienced facilitators, medical professionals, and integration coaches who support participants before, during, and after their journey.

‍

Adrian Colbert's Legacy: From NFL to Inner Healing

Adrian Colbert's career in the NFL has taken him from the 49ers to the Dolphins, from the Chiefs to the Giants, from the Patriots to the Jets to the Browns to the Titans to the Bears. He's been a seventh-round draft pick who proved his worth, a player who adapted to different systems and teams, a professional who never stopped fighting.

But perhaps his most important journey wasn't on any football field. It was the journey inward—the courageous decision to face 21 years of unworthiness, to sit with his shadows, and to emerge reconnected to love, safety, and source.

His story joins those of Aaron Rodgers, Von Miller, and Jordan Poyer as testament to a new paradigm in professional sports, one where mental and spiritual health are recognized as essential components of true performance and fulfillment.

"So much light and it is available to all who takes action and seeks it," Adrian reminds us. The light is there. The healing is possible. The reconnection awaits.

The only question is: Are you ready to answer the call?

‍

Begin Your Own Journey of Transformation

If Adrian's story resonates with you, if you feel the call to do your own deep healing work, Behold Retreats offers the safe, expertly guided space for transformation.

Once you have completed your application, you will have the opportunity to speak 1:1 with one of our Plant Medicine Guides. Together, you will continue the path forward. We look forward to speaking with you.

See Upcoming Retreats.

‍

Related Stories

Featured Group: Jordan Poyer, Aaron Rodgers, Adrian Colbert, Von Miller

‍

‍